-I created an authentic voice for my character by…
-I stuck to details of the base text through…
-My creative task adds to the base text through…
AO5 – 25 marks
Total: 25 marks
AO2 – 15 marks
AO4- 10 marks
AO5- 5 marks
Total: 30 marks
-Show a high degree of flair and originality
-Sustain a chosen style or styles of writing throughout
-Use the base text convincingly
AO2 – Provide perceptive accounts of how meanings are shaped, by judiciously selecting and identifying significant language features and by evaluating the choices they made.
AO4 – Offer perceptive insights about particular aspects of language and likely effects produced in their base text, compared with their transformed text.
AO5 – Produce a commentary which is well organised and accurately written.
Jan – My dear
Agha – Sir/Mr
Mast – Drunk
Bas – Enough
Kaseef – Dirty
Ahmaq – Idiot
Inshallah – With god’ will, hopefully
Mashallah – Said after giving a compliment – superstitious
Quwat – The power
Salaam Alaykum – Hi how are you
Balay – Formal way of saying thanks
Tashakor – Thanks
Khoda hafez – Good bye
Mareez – Being ill
-Use odd syntax (word order) which seems out of the ordinary, which will make the narrator seem illiterate. Perhaps adopt quite a childlike tone.
-Do not, however, deliberately misspell words or have a poor written structure. You have to get a balance between having a narrator who seems slightly illiterate and proving to the examiner that you are good at writing.
2. Sentences used for effect (minor, simple, compound, complex).
3. References to the base text – good knowledge of historical facts
4. Use of Farsi
5. Stylistically similar to Hosseini
6. Building of theme/motifs
7. Highlight specific techniques that can be explored in the commentary
-Start the sentence with a word ending in “ing” or “ed” or “ly” (adverbs)
-Use embedded clauses
-Use a variety of sentence lengths, from short and punchy to more complex (Baba’s character)
-Use similes (Rahim Khan)
-Use alliteration (Rahim Khan and Baba)
-Use triadic structure
-Use speech followed by action
-What is SIGNIFICANT ABOUT THE WRITING STYLE in the passage that you are looking at?
-Think about the significance of the extract and the text as a whole
-Focus on journeys
-Think about whether the character is an archetype or whether they symbolise or represent a specific concept
-Think about how the narrative is constructed. For example does it follow particular narrative conventions, what is the function of specific events or characters, and what are the specific moments of tension and conflict?
-When faced with the exam question, read and decode the question properly. Plan points before you begin, and draft a quick response (for commentary)
-Remember that the book is about fathers and sons, dreams and memories feature heavily in the book, the book perhaps ignores religious views, and Amir perhaps narrates his story in a way which favours him.
-The use of colour in the piece
-Using a fragmented story
-Making the narrative unreliable / having an unreliable narrator
-Use of prolepsis/analepsis- self conscious narrator
-Use of senses to evoke a sense of place
-Making sure different characters have different levels of syntax. For example an uneducated character might have shorter sentence lengths than an educated character.
-What do they believe in?
-What are their priorities?
-What are their strengths/weaknesses?
When reading the question, first identify the sections in the novel where the character is mentioned and glean what you can from them. Then, generate a list of points from this that can be used in the final creative piece.
Also try to use and analyse specific language features such as triadic structure, second person pronouns and sentence functions,. Try to focus on two of these in the commentary, and specifically state where and what they are, and why you used them.
Remember to focus on contextual factors of the novel, and to EMPHASISE A SPECIFIC THEME from the base text. In other words, state what you think the most important theme is in the extract you are given, and how you adapted this to your creative writing.
•Have you explained the reasons for your transformative choice?
•Have you used APPROPRIATE TERMINOLOGY to describe features of language?
•Have you gone beyond description to analysis of interpretative effects?
•Have you discussed the ways in which your re-creative addresses the points required by the task? Have you properly answered the question?
-Delayed and deferred information
-Intentionality – author has a reason for shaping a text
-Flat character/ round character
-Free direct speech/ direct speech
-Intertextuality (referencing other texts)
-Use of symbols / motifs
-Epistolary structure – letters are used as part of storytelling (think of Rahim Khan’s letter in chapter 16).
-Hosseini’s life mirror’s Amir’s life in some ways. He got moved to the United States in the wake of the Soviet invasion, as Amir does, and went through many of the immigrant experiences that Amir did with his father.
-Hosseini describes how the incident with Hassan is metaphorical of the downfall of Afghanistan. You can substitute Afghanistan for Hassan. After Hassan has served his purpose and found what Amir wanted, the kite, then Amir stands by and watches him be attacked without intervening. A lot of Afghans feel that’s what happened after the Soviet Union left and Western countries failed to help the country.
-The novel is about atoning for past mistakes. It’s about tolerance and forgiveness and fathers and brotherhood and generally about positive things.
-Concerning religion, Amir is mostly on the fence (he’s agnostic) but as the story progresses he comes to a place of faith. He becomes a moderate practising Muslim.
-Afghans are very religious people
Teacher said the recast was engaging and insightful. They said that the commentary was clear.
However, I need to think more about EMPHASISING A THEME from the base text. My main challenge is to EXTEND USE OF TERMINOLOGY, and REFER MORE TO SPECIFIC EXAMPLES from the re-creative writing. In the first essay I needed to COMMENT MORE ON CULTURAL ASPECTS OF THE NOVEL in order to communicate.
SECOND ASSESSMENT (Mock exam).
Main development point is how the theme of shame and secrecy is carried by Sanaubar. Her relationship with Baba was too significant not to mention. Also remember to specifically state terminology terms such as “temporal deixis.”
THIRD ASSESSMENT – Re-cast Ali’s recount of what he feels after Hassan has been accused of stealing and they decide to leave
Teacher said I have clearly demonstrated some flair and originality. The use of pathetic fallacy was good and how I conveyed Ali’s change in attitude towards Amir. I have given a competent account of how meanings are shaped and have given a good selection of several significant features to discuss. AO4 is also strong.
An area to improve is to use Farsi. Also check understanding of Hassan’s father.